Cahoon (or as I lovingly call him, Cahooooon) is one of my favorite theatre actors, and he was my very first live Frank on Broadway back in 2001. I've met him a few times over the years as I went to see a bunch of his shows and gigs (his CD? Sublime neo glam rock- buy it!), and he's always been a sweetheart. Even though it was nearly 2 am, he stopped to chat with fans after the show (with a box of his dressing room supplies under his arm), and he was floored to hear he was my first Frank. 12 years...my god, where does the time go? I've seen him twice now, Terrence Mann once, and a local actor at the Playhouse back in 2003.
It's interesting that I've only seen Rocky Horror live four times considering it's one of my all time favorite musicals. Yet, I've only seen Hedwig and the Angry Inch live once, and that show is practically my lifeline. I saw the 1998 revival of Cabaret 45 times up through its closing performance on January 4, 2004. I can't just go see any old performance of that show because the Sam Mendes production is just too close to my heart. It's a big deal that I can watch the movie to perfect my Liza impression (let's face it, she would be my drag personality). My most recent tattoo that I got in July is "Lady Peaceful" in-between my shoulder blades. Those are the lyrics from the Cabaret song "Maybe This Time" that I've been striving for since 2001. I found this peace with my husband.
Hunter Foster directed this production of Rocky, and he tweeted last night that the show may not be over. This is pretty fantastic as I am all about Cahoon looking gorgeous in makeup 8 times a week.
Then....
...And now. My god, does he age?!
This also presents a really interesting quandry. My trifecta of shows could very possibly be in New York City at the same time in 2014.
Cabaret is going to be revived with Alan Cumming.
Hedwig is debuting on Broadway with Neil Patrick Harris.
Rocky Horror could very well find a stage with Kevin Cahoon.
If you know me at all, you know that my head is exploding right now and my credit card statements are going to be weeping.
I wrote about Hedwig back when the press release came out, but I haven't written about Cabaret at all on here. I have old (locked) potentially embarrassing livejournal entries all about the show and my 45 times going. I started going in October 2000 when Matt McGrath was the Emcee and Lea Thompson was Sally Bowles, and I saw every Emcee and almost every Sally from that point forward. I also saw plenty of other shows (sometimes in multiples) during that time and beyond. Hey, I introduced lots of friends to Cabaret, and some of them even saw it multiple times since they enjoyed it so much! I have been asked if it was boring seeing the same show so many times, and I have to emphasize is that it was never the same show. Every actor brought something so different and special to the Emcee, Sally, Cliff, Fraulein Schneider, Herr Schultz, Fraulein Kost, Herr Ludwig, and all the Kit Kat boys and girls. I can't pinpoint which shows were my favorite right now, but that sounds like a fun topic for the future!
It took awhile for me to get over the fact that Cabaret was out of my life. I enjoyed going to Assassins at Studio 54 in spring 2004 because the stage and seating were still set up like the Kit Kat Klub. They renovated to standard seating shortly thereafter, and I didn't see a show at that theatre until the Assassins reunion concert in December 2012. There were still so many wonderful pieces of the theatre that hadn't changed a bit. It felt like coming home in a strange way.
I was both thrilled and wary when I heard that the show was being revived with Alan Cumming. Why couldn't they have just kept the show running until he was available and willing to play the final months? Why revive the same production after 10 years? However, it was a bit of a relief when the show closed because I wouldn't have to feel that strange sense of fan obligation to keep seeing all the casts. Money was getting tight, and I had to start growing up. Plus, I didn't want the show to become stale like others that had been running for so long. It's been a long time since my crush/obsession over Alan Cumming, but my husband and I saw him in his one man show of Macbeth at Lincoln Center in July 2012, and it reminded me of what a brilliant actor he is and how good he still looks. Of course I want to see his iconic performance! I can see at this point that he will do it out of a true love and passion for the material. It will be sad not to have the sadly deceased Natasha Richardson back as Sally, but it appears that the rest of the cast will be new to Cabaret.
Iconic
These girls work their asses off.
I worry a bit that my precious memories will be tainted, but I don't think that will really be possible considering it's going to be a near carbon copy of the previous revival. I'm excited to take my husband to the show that meant the world to me for years and got me through so many rough times. However, the timing just feels so weird...everything I love is suddenly coming back after 10 years. I finally got the Cabaret tattoo, and then all the revival news began. It's going to be amazing but it's not going to be the same. I can only see Cabaret and Hedwig once, especially because we're paying for two excellent tickets for each performance, and the train fares went up, and we have bills to pay...etc.
My life is completely different from the last time I saw these shows. I was a morose single retail bitch who was taking care of her chronically ill parents. Both parents have since passed, and I'm married to the best man in the world and actually in a grownup job. The majority of my friends have married and started having kids. I've met new people since the shows ended that have become some of my closest friends. I'm still in contact with friends I met through Cabaret and other actor fandoms and consider them to be some of my dearest friends. I know this is a wonderful walk down memory lane that I finally get to share with my husband. He just saw Rocky Horror and will be seeing Cabaret and Hedwig next year. I just wish I could put my finger on why it's just so surreal for me.
Last night, I was trying to put together an outfit, and I had to keep taking it down a few notches. Bright or super deep red lipstick got immediately wiped off, black eyeliner wasn't even considered thanks to always wearing glasses, glitter would just accentuate the lines around my eyes, and the one studded bracelet I found had to go on the wrist that wouldn't clash with my wedding ring. I didn't have any nail polish or earrings on, my necklace was tasteful retro, and I felt like I had to add some definition to my mod dress with an zebra belt. The edgiest thing about my outfit was the crimson fishnets and vinyl boots, and even they were fit well and had sensible fuzzy socks hidden for comfort. Every time I tried to add something "dark" or "weird," I would just look at myself disgustedly and rip it off. The thing is, I barely have any "dark" or "weird" clothes, accessories, or makeup anymore. I suddenly want to wear things that are cute but complimentary. I don't want to do things just because other people are doing so. I couldn't even finish one drink with our late night pre-show dinner. And for the record, after 5 1/2 years, that was the latest we'd ever begun a night out.
I'm not old. I'm going to be 33 in a few weeks. But that means I've been in a new demographic for awhile, and I didn't fully realize it till last night. I've never felt so old when going to a show. I was never so grateful for daylight savings time as I was today. We stayed in bed for half the day. I used to have four strong drinks at Studio 54 during a two show day and still go out with friends after. I wore whatever I wanted. I did whatever I wanted during city days. I didn't care if I was less functional at work the next day.
I have a life now that's not all about my needs. I am married and make decisions with somebody else and have a 9-5 job and go through all the ups and downs of being a homeowner. I'm also pretty damn lucky that my husband is so interested in the shows I love and wanting to get to know more about that part of me. He listens to my stories and watches some clips or videos with me and even investigates shows on his own. We make these city trips special now. We are still pretty young, but we also know our limits. Seeing Cabaret from front orchestra table seats and Hedwig close enough to potentially get a "car wash" are special events that we will talk about for years but not make the focus of our lives.
It's ok to still love and reminisce about the memories, and it's fun to make new ones. It's ok to still be a fangirl and hold all this close to my heart. But it's also ok to keep moving on with my life and knowing that while these moments have been impactful, becoming Lady Peaceful was the most transcendent moment of all.
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